It’s Hard

Life seems to be a bit easier for certain people. Take this girl for example. I feel I’m a considerably better dancer, yet my video of me dancing around my room didn’t get nearly as many views as hers.

!NWS!
http://www.playvid.com/watch?v=XN5L5aCo3om&rel=0

I’m sure it’s easier for her to get seated at fancy restaurants too.

My hands wet on the wheel,

CRAP-MAN

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Uranus

A friend and colleague who is a PhD psychologist and astrologist sent me a 25 page profile of my personality based on the exact minute of my birth.

Your Ascendant is in Opposition of your Uranus (that’s what she said):

You are an original personality and you delight in your uniqueness and individuality. The right to be able to do as you please is central to your being, however you may not be able to exercise this without flustering and confusing others. You are a non-conformist and, in all likelihood, ahead of your time. To some people, you are an exciting person to be around, to others you are just too different for them to understand. Take care not to come across as too eccentric or weird, because you may isolate yourself socially. You are intrinsically restless and will have many changes of environment throughout the course of your life.

Life’s not worth a damn ’til you can say,

CRAP-MAN

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The Benefits of Confusing Techno

I like it when people can take CRAP to the next level by playing it on an accordion.

I thought this CRAP was the song in the opening of the movie “Blade”, when Tracey Lords (one of my favorite porn stars of all times) leads an unsuspecting victim into a techno-rave club with a blood sprinkler system (great opening BTW). I was wrong. That was another CRAP song, aptly and ingeniously called “Blood Bath”.

HOWEVER! there is a benefit to CRAP-MAN’s confusion.  It got me thinking of this gem from Opie & Anthony, featuring the late, great Patrice O’neal:

I’da waited till the statute of limitations was up,

CRAP-MAN

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Hey my man what it look like

Seeing this clip made me think of Sho’nuff and gave me a great idea for this week’s Movie Tuesday classic.

And like so many great films of this era, looks like there will be a CRAP attempt at a  remake.

Sho’nuff,

CRAP-MAN

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Love with a side of Legumes

Today’s CRAP goes out to all the women in our lives. Last night,we were out with friends, and my wife leaned over to whisper a question in my ear: Was she pronouncing “legumes” properly…and she was. “Leguuumes”, she said. Such a magical word.  

Soon after, I was greeted with my second surprise of the evening:  If I washed my hands and brushed my teeth after I got home, it would be socks-only…and it was.

I’m always so easily amused.

In other news, this also goes out to Blair Bear’s wife Zins who just endured 27 grueling hours of labour, pushing out the Prince Cub, and effectively turning my friend into a Papa Bear. Good work you guys, and can’t wait to meet the new Prince.

Here’s to you and yours:

When you’re with me I’m smiling,

CRAP-MAN

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So Wright you can’t go wrong

It was brought to my attention yesterday that Steven Wright hade won an Academy Award for his short film, “The Appointments of Dennis Jennings”

Comic genius!

It reminded me of this song my Mom used to sing to me when I was a little kid.

I wish you all a great weekend and hope you can find all the CRAP you need for the fast approaching holidays.

You laughed, you laughed, you laughed, and then you left,

CRAP-MAN

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Class Action Park

For anyone who grew up in the late 80′s, early 90′s in the New York Tri-state area, you know Action Park.

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